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40- The Ultimate "F" Word

Fabulous & Forty my Ass!

I have dreaded turning 40 since the night I turned 39. I am not one that wants to grow old gracefully. I will go kicking and screaming the entire way.


During my nut kicking birthday week in May I…

Had my boobs smashed in a vice grip for the first time. Didn’t hurt as bad as I thought. The most uncomfortable part is, the complete stranger who has to touch and mold our boob into the machine so much, I felt like I should have tipped her. My oldest son graduated high school. Say no more on this one, right?My dad took any chance he could to tell me I was closer to my life being over then what I had left to live. He gets the biggest kick out of reminding me my youth is slipping away.I started an amazing self-help book that I thought would allow me to give my darling boyfriend pointers from but in turn made me think, “shit I am a handful”.Last but not least, while trying on a new bra at Victoria’s Secret I overheard two girls talking about their teachers and one saying, “Mr. So and So is old he is like 40”!


Queue music, Alphaville… “Forever Young”… me drinking wine while my mascara is running down my face. 😊  After the pity party I threw for myself, I realized there are some perks to being 40…


Affordable Car Insurance

I’m old enough to drink

I am at a sociably acceptable age to run for President

I didn’t have to deal with social media in high school

I’m healthy, somewhat

I don’t need an excuse for going to bed by 10PM on a Friday


In all seriousness, turning 40 sucks! What I do have is real life experience and on the job training at life. I am still sassy and smart assy but I can now see all sides to a story, have empathy and I am pretty good at giving advice (some call it advice, I call it don’t do the same shit I did).  I love that I know more now, than I ever did at 21. I worry less about trying to impress everyone. I have always been uncensored, but I want to give another option to the way we portray our lives especially on social media. Be raw. Be real. Don’t worry about who is going to think differently of you. It’s ok that we don’t have it all together. It’s ok to make plans around your hair washing days. It’s ok to not like your kids sometimes. It’s ok to watch The Bachelor for 22 seasons even though it’s degrading to women. 😉 It’s ok to be a hot freaking mess. All of what we see as imperfections, make us unique & strong. My blog is here to let women of all ages know that perfection doesn’t exist and sometimes we can just be a SHIT SHOW!