Geriatric Pregnancy- Bite your tongue!

Updated: Nov 4, 2020

As if it weren’t crazy enough to have a baby in my 40’s (with my already 15 & 20 year old's), God thought lets make this even more interesting... a pandemic, a crazy ass election year, an earthquake and last but not least, hearing that anything over 40 is considered a geriatric pregnancy. Not to sound like the douche but when I hear geriatric pregnancy I think of my 80 year old grandma back in the day with a baby bump. Not a healthy, willing and able 42 year old!

I know the percentages of getting pregnant in your 40’s signifigantly drops the older you get. I completely believe in science but I also believe there are things you can’t explain. We had been trying to get pregnant for a while and had ended up going the fertility specialist route due to my age and some other factors. We had done the clomid, all the tests and screenings to get your ready and prepared for IVF, if all else fails. We decided in December of 2019 that we would start the IVF route on my next cycle (January) because I knew I wasn’t getting any younger and although that doesn’t make it impossible it can make it harder. We finished up the remaining tests, paid our money, ordered the meds and patiently waited for my cycle to kick us off.

I was pretty regular and when I didn’t start on the day I was supposed to, I figured that my body was probably stressed anticipating all that it had to be objected to over the next few months. Two days, then three days went by and the nurse from the clinic called and said “we had you scheduled to start your shots a few days ago, have you started?” I told her I hadn’t and that I think I was stressing myself out over everything. She said to call them as soon as I did. At lunch that day I knew I had some pregnancy tests left from previous months so I thought what the heck and decided to take them. Immediately they came up positive. I thought well this isn’t the first time I had a false positive so I called one of my friends at the lab to see if I could come in and get my blood drawn because with other positive tests I had, my HCG levels always were the sounding voice that said NOPE NOT THIS MONTH. I told Brett and headed to the clinic. She called me about an hour later and said “your HCG levels are 255... you are way pregnant!” Brett went back to Walgreens and purchased the digital tests and a few dozen others just to make sure... sure enough all positive. I called the nurse at the fertility clinic and told her and although they were congratulatory they also said the doc wants to see me next week and do an ultrasound, etc. to make sure everything is good because they have no clue how this happened.

We were in shock but elated. How could this happen before we were to spend literally thousands on treatment? I still was pessimistic and didn’t let myself get too excited because after having a miscarriage or failed attempts at getting pregnant... not letting yourself get excited, is your defense mechanism, so you think. We went a week and half later to the fertility clinic for an ultrasound with the doc and the entire day I kept thinking in my head that they aren’t going to find the sac or it will be empty or no heartbeat... I was losing my mind. We showed up, went back to the room for a vaginal ultrasound and the second the doc put that probe in... HEARTBEAT and SACK, loud and clear. What a relief!!! I was six weeks along. We were so excited with taking videos and pics and me making sure he only saw one in there not two. He reiterated that he had no clue how it happened but congrats and I could be turned over to my OB now. I felt relief for a few hours and then again that pit in my stomach came back.

I scheduled some appointments with different OB’s since mine had since retired on baby delivering. This is where I heard the term “Geriatric Pregnancy” for the first time when calling and researching different offices. I had a friend that her OB considered anything over 35 geriatric... WTF? The word is disgusting to me and offensive and I knew I didn’t want an OB that thoughts about pregnancies later in life as one foot in the grave. When I chose my OB it was a tough call because there are so many good OB’s out there but what sealed the deal for me is he didn’t even blink at my age. When I asked him about it he acted like what’s wrong with your age and proceeded to tell me his wife had a baby in her 40’s and I need not do anything different than I did with the others. SOLD! I decided right then and there he was my man! :)

Every pregnancy I have had I get extreme morning sickness or hyperemesis gravidarum as they call it. With my second pregnancy it was the worst and I had a PICC line. It always kicks in about 7 weeks and when my mind and body come together that this is really happening. Same with Mr Nashy Poo... about 7 weeks I started feeling horrible. My doc started me on some good meds and I think because I knew what to expect and what to not feel bad about asking for, I was able to stay ahead of it this time and not have to get the PICC line. I did have some IV therapy days throughout to help stay hydrated. Then COVID hit. At first this seemed like a blessing in disguise... I could work from home and puke in the sanctity of my own bathroom... I didn’t have to make plans and later cancel because of feeling ill and people not knowing why because, everyone was on lock down and isolated. It also added to the stress and there wasn’t anything worse I could think of than being pregnant and on a ventilator. I think it made this pregnancy seem extremely long because there wasn’t anything to keep your mind off of it or distract you like a vacation or plans with friends.

I realized that I never could bring myself to blog anything about the pregnancy because I think I was too worried or grateful to be pregnant that I thought if I did, then something bad would happen. Also, it seemed hard to have something to be happy for when people around you were getting sick or losing loved ones to this horrible virus. Oh and the fact that I didn’t want to listen to people’s opinions of “having a baby at my age or starting over”... obviously I thought it thru and knew what I was taking on (I knew just forgot how damn hard it was :)). I sure as shit didn’t think I was geriatric when weighing the pros and cons. But then I thought, after he was here of course, I have to share my experience (wait for the sexy posts about the woman’s jock strap I had to wear) because I know there are enough ladies out there who can relate.

Bottom line... Our silver lining to 2020 is our little Nashy Poo is here, happy and healthy! We are blessed!